I skipped church tonight. I was tired of Reverend Brewer's tone and I felt I would go in and be annoyed again tonight. However, a funny thing happened. In going to the gym and staying at home tonight, I feel a bit of a vacuum within me, a lack. Even though I have felt anger at my pastor's sermons recently, there remains something important to the act of going in and sharing in communal worship that I have missed this week.
I truly believe in doing God's work, in the Parable of the Sheep and the Goats, that God is in the lowly people and our job is to care for the needy and work for justice. No wonder I feel so far off-course: I spend my day in a corporate job, am not doing any volunteer work and my preoccupations are with the debt that I've accrued myself, rather than the needs of others.
Lord, I pray that though I harbor anger or pain sometimes at how some profess their faith, that that anger may never get in the way of my seeking you out. I've heard it written, "You would never have sought me had you not already found me," and it's true. I have experienced enough of your grace that I continue to seek you out. Let me not become complacent in a life absent of you, but rather walk on seeking to do your work and live in your sacred communities, whether it is a church, a friendship, or simply that moment where I have an exchange with a homeless man on the corner asking for change.