I believe today was my last day with the Unitarians. After trying a couple of services, I’ve found that I need a bit more of Jesus in my church than what they have to offer.
I came to the Unitarians because I questioned my faith, and still do. I question whether Jesus is the son of God, whether there is a heaven or hell, whether my prayers do any good for anyone but me. And I sought them out as a group that saw skepticism as healthy,and inquiry as a twin of faith.
Yet I also realized after just a few Unitarian services, that although I question my beliefs, I still thrive on them. I still need to hear Christ’s words on a regular basis, in a community of the like-minded who are looking to him for guidance. The Unitarians left that part of me cold with intelligent but somewhat more watered-down generalizations about the human spirit and the sacredness of everyday life. The messages were lovely but a bit too general for my needs.
Thankfully, I have found communities over the last months that are both Christian and healthily skeptical. Both Transmission and the NYU student Episcopal group have provided a space where doubt and even dissent is welcome, yet faith in Christ is also multiplied.
However, I don’t regret trying out the Unitarians. As I walked out of the service today, I had a wide smile on my face. I felt revived: realizing I actively DESIRED more Christ was kind of liberating. I think it’s a gift in this life whenever we can put our finger on exactly what it is we yearn for. Thankfully, with Christ, the access is pretty easy, and the supply never runs out.